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by Virginia Avery
Let's begin by hearkening back to a time when Romans
considered it to be good sport to feed Christians to the lions. One
day, the festivities had been going as usual when a strange thing
happened. The Christian in the arena whispered something to the lion.
The lion then turned tail and slunk away.
The crowd was amazed. The Emperor was impressed. He
let it be known that he would spare the Christian's life if the man
would reveal the secret of what he had said to the lion.
The Christian was brought before the Emperor. In a
powerful voice, he said, "I told him he would have to say a few
words after dinner."
The lion's reaction should not surprise anyone who has
been asked to "say a few words." If you are like most
people, a jolt of adrenaline courses through your body, your heart
beats a bit faster, and your breathing becomes shallow. It's possible,
too, that your palms get sweaty, your knees feel like Jell-O, and your
mind goes blank. Some years ago, The Sunday Times of London published
a list of people's greatest fears. The fear of public speaking took
first place, while "death" placed seventh. Though I don't
really believe that most people would rather die than speak, I have
had clients say to me, "But you only die once!"
Why do so many of us have this reaction when called
upon to speak? For one thing, speaking in public makes us feel that we
are in danger - and, as with any perceived danger, the body
instinctively reacts. Blood gets diverted from the brain to the major
muscles, enabling us to protect ourselves. But when the blood leaves
the brain, thinking is less effective and our capacity to process
information decreases.
That explains the physical reaction. But what is it
that makes us feel that we are in danger to begin with? We come up
with various reasons: We are afraid we will forget what we planned to
say. We think our nervousness will show and they will see us sweat.
But, really, it is most often because we feel inadequate. We are
terrified of rejection, afraid we aren't good enough, afraid we will
be judged and found wanting. (Though I am writing here primarily about
speaking, the same thing holds true for other creative endeavors.) It
is not what we are that holds us back, it is what we believe we are
not.
In his book "You've Got to Be Believed to Be
Heard" , Bert Decker writes, "Patterns of insecurity, fear,
self-doubt, and self-criticism are set, for most of us, at an early
age. These patterns emerge in our adulthood as a lack of confidence in
situations where we are called upon to perform, to expose ourselves to
the appraisal of our peers." Another reason I believe speaking
terrifies us is that we do not know - have never been taught - what
makes a good presentation. So we can add fear of the unknown to that
list.
Since the ability to present well usually determines
our degree of success (some researchers place it as high as 85%),
learning to face our fears and master them can pay big dividends. If
you want to overcome the fear of speaking in public situations, the
following suggestions will help. Though you may (as many show business
people do) still have the surge of adrenaline, by implementing these
suggestions, you will be able to convert that adrenaline rush to
useful energy.
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The most important thing
you can do to combat nervousness is prepare your presentation
completely. Research your audience. Spend time clarifying your
objective. What do you want to accomplish by giving this
presentation? (If you are clear on this point, your mind will work
toward achieving that objective.) Prepare your opening, your three
major points, and your conclusion. When these support your
objective, your presentation will flow logically from point to
point. You must determine these parts of your presentation in
advance. You don't have time to make those decisions when you are
"on." When you allow enough time, you can refine our
thoughts, do the research to support your statements, and find
illustrative stories. By having a thorough grasp of the points you
want to make, you are less likely to be nervous. Better
preparation equals less anxiety.
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Practice, practice,
practice your presentation. Then practice some more. Tape it.
Listen to the tape. When we watch entertainers and people on
television, we too often forget that what we are seeing is the
result of hours of preparation and practice. Watching the Olympics
always inspires me. The athletes' dedication to their sport, the
grueling practice schedules they follow for years for just a few
minutes of competition. Sometimes they fall or fail at the event.
Then they dust themselves off, and try again. What a marvelous
approach to life!
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Do everything you can to
put your mind at ease about your appearance. Before the big day,
select an outfit that you know looks good on you and have it ready
to wear.
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Get a good night's
sleep. If you are well-prepared, it will be easier to sleep well.
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Warm up your voice with
some vocal exercises. Yawning helps open the throat; humming tunes
up the vocal chords.
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If you have time for
another run-through, practice once more. If you don't have time,
find a quiet spot, sit comfortably, close your eyes, and visualize
yourself doing the presentation - just the way you want to do it.
Visualize the audience responding positively to you. See them
standing up and applauding. Generate good feelings for the
audience - and yourself. It has been shown that mental rehearsals
of physical acts are as good as actual practice. With the right
mindset, it's sometimes even better.
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Plan to arrive at least
an hour early to check the room and become comfortable with the
speaking area. Double-check any equipment you will be using.
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Breathe deeply. Deep
breathing relaxes the body and brings oxygen to the brain. And
that, of course, helps us think more clearly. Breathing deeply
also helps us feel calmer.
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If at all possible,
spend some time with the audience before your presentation. By
meeting and greeting them, you will feel you already have some
supporters.
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Drink a glass of
room-temperature water. It strengthens you. I learned this from
the Shikhs in Oregon when I took their yoga class.
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Focus on the audience.
Think about what you want people to remember as a result of
hearing you speak. The human mind can only hold one thought at a
time. So if you keep focusing on your message, your nervousness
will abate.
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Be sure to move your
body, because movement releases tension.
Dorothy Sarnoff tells of being backstage while she and
Yul Brynner were waiting to go on for a performance of "The King
and I." Brynner placed his palms on a brick wall, and proceeded
to do push-ups against it. He told her it helped contain his
nervousness. I don't recommend push-ups - especially if you are in
business dress. Instead, try a few head-and-shoulder rolls.
Once you are introduced, take another deep breath,
smile, and move onto the stage with all the energy and enthusiasm
that your quick adrenaline rush has supplied.
If you follow these suggestions, you might find that
you actually enjoy speaking to groups. And one thing is certain. If
you overcome your fears, present your ideas clearly and well ... you
will find more opportunities opening up to you than you thought
possible.
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